If we can’t have what we love ..we must love what we have

If we can’t have what we love ..we must love what we have

I’ve been repeating this sentence many time everyday since I had this very bad destructive feelings all over my body and soul. I need to remind myself about the fact that I can’t have everything I want, which is hard, since I got everything I wanted so far. That’s why I can’t accept this fact easily. And also it’s hard for me cause what I wanna have is not just a thing, it’s actually a very very special thing to me..
I know it’s not fair to us, but that’s life anyway.. And I hope we’re ganna make it…Until then, Goodbye

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I’ll never criticize
All you’ve ever meant to my life
I don’t want to let you down
I don’t want to lead you on
I don’t want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to say but goodbye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I’m not sure i’m worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
I don’t want to let you down
I don’t want to lead you on
I don’t want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to say but goodbye
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can’t live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There’s nothing left to try
Though it’s gonna hurt us both
There’s no other way than to say goodbye

My All-Time-Favorite romantic movies

1. P.S. I Love You (2007)

 

 

Hilary Swank as ( Holy) & Gerard Butler as (Gerry)

I literally was crying from the first 5 minutes of the movie till the end of it! It is without a doubt the most beautiful romantic movie I’ve ever seen before.. The story is just so great, I can’t imagine myself living in such a story and such a situation! It’s ganna make u so emotional while u’r watching it…

 

2.  Pretty Woman (1990)

 

 

 

Julia Roberts as (Vivian ) & Richard Gere as (Edward )

I can’t get enough of this movie, Julia Roberts is one of my favorite actress and this particular movie is one of her best.. I always loved the transmission of a lady to the best, it makes me feel that everything can be fixed and LOVE can change a lot indeed. 

 

 

 

 

 

3.  Twilight (2008 )

 

 

 

Kristen Stewart as (Bella) & Robert Pattinson as (Edward)

OMG, I’ve never thought I would actually find a movie that will replace Breakfast at Tiffany’s rank in my list! I think it’s a great unique bloody strong love story.. you can actually feel how strong it is cuz u really ganna want their love to survive regardless of their situation.

It made me wish having my own vampire, who will watch me sleeping every night & climb trees with me everyday

 

4.   Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

Audrey Hepburn as (Holy) & George Peppard as (Paul)

One of my all time favorite movies ever.. I adore Audrey so much that I watched all of her movies.. this one particularly I watched it for like 20 times since I was a kid and I cant get enough of it, beside George Peppard has such a pretty face to look at

 

 

 

5.  The Notebook (2004)

Ryan Gosling as (Noah) & Rachel McAdams as (Allie)

A deeply romantic story about young love as it grows and endures through wars and parental dissent. If you were crazy about romantic movie  as myself, this one definitely should be among your collection. Everything is very spectacular in the scenes. It’s really a well done movie

 

 

6.  Titanic

 

 

 

Kate Winslet as (Rose) & Leonardo DiCaprio as (Jack)

Can’t have a romantic movie list without Titanic in it, right? I don’t even have to say anything about it. It’s one of those movies that will be stuck in you’re memory for the whole of your life.

 

 

7.  You’ve Got Mail (1998 )

Tom Hanks as (Joe) & Meg Ryan as (Kathleen)

Such a sweet movie… I love Meg Ryan & Tom as well, they  two made a great couple.. I’m one from those who found their special someone online and lived some lovely moment through mails.. so this movie is special for me  

 

 

 

 

 

8.  The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996)

Janeane Garofalo as (Abby), Uma Thurman as (Noelle) & Ben Chaplin as (Brian)

Romantic comedy movies have always been my choice of watching every time. And this one is definitely the most great one I love the story, I love the characters, I love everything about it… I feel so connected to Abby when I was younger, the first time I saw the movie, and I instantly loved it.. back then I had some low self-esteem issues and Abby was representing “me” basically anyway this is history now.

 

 

 

9.  How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

Kate Hudson as (Andie) & Matthew McConaughey as (Ben)

Another perfect couple with a great chemistry.. kate and Matthew “the man I LOOOOVE <3″ he’s soooo yummy I can eat him alive ;p seriously the movie is wonderful and so funny.. and I love it

 

 

10. Something’s Gotta Give (2003)

Diane Keaton as (Erica) & Jack Nicholson as (Harry)

I’ve wrote about this one before, in my previous entry I guess, and I love it because its so spontaneous and funny

 

 

 

 

freaky sunday

Sunday was a complicated day for me cause a lot of things kept happen so quickly, and each thing has its own  different surprise, feeling and emotion.. I mean it was a long crazy day, and what made it so long and exhausted that I didn’t sleep the night before and I didn’t prepare myself well for my presentation that I talked about previously, because I was in a really bad mood and I barley could stay alive.. yeah seriously

Anyway thanks god I could stand on my feet that day and dragged myself to the university, I spent the first hour of the morning talking to Amani my friend and telling her what happened to me last night, then I went to the radiotherapy class, and it went so good actually! From the moment the doctor showed up she notice me and said: come sit close to me Suzy, let me see what you bring us today.. I was so scared and embarrassed cause I did nothing actually but reading it for a couple of time and that’s it..I didn’t prepare myself to stand up in front the whole class and explain every little thing I wrote in details! My morale was in the bottom and I was so emotionally hurt from the night before, so I was ready to tell her just take the papers and give me any mark u want.. but quitting is not my thing I suppose, so I ended up letting her to tell me what to do..

So I was explain what I wrote to her quietly and pointing to some important parts and stuff and she just loved it.. and instantly gave me a full mark I was so happy and relieved at the time and I thought that’s it, my work is done.. but NO way :S I still had to play the doctor role for the day.. the girls in the class knew about me before, so they tried to convince her to reschedule for me but that just made me feel worse so I did it anyway.

And I’m proud to say that it went so good, cause after I finished she stand up , clapped for me while she walked toward me and started to complement me in a very cheerful way, I was blushing and excited I didn’t expect that she would really love my oral presentation and I’m in such a bad mood!! I was so glad that I did impress her  and now every time she see me she call me Dr. Suzy LOOOL It’s really amazing.

So after all, I had my time for a moment but that wasn’t the end of the day, cause immediately after that I had the worst, horrible, most hurtful phone call conversation in my whole life that I’ve never thought that I would ever had it!!! which made me so sad and tired again! And it continued till I back home… I was crying all the afternoon and reconsidering some things in my life..

There are some people around me, even close to me who I thought they were trust worthy, I shared a lot with them, my secrets, my stories, my loyalty, honesty and caring.. I gave them almost everything.. and what do I get back from them? Lying! Cheating? And more lying!!!! I always thought that I have a very good evaluation for people, and my intuitions always came true. But now, I realized that some people are an excellent actors, and they know how to play their roles very well, and how to get what they want whenever they want so easy.. even if it means that they should break you’re heart by breaking all the rules.

It’s not like I’ve never know they were existing, but I didn’t know that they would get me!!! I thought I’m smart enough to find out about those kind of people before they hurt me! But no, cause believe me some have a PHD. In acting, and they are all over around you.

Back to my freaky Sunday, my best friend Ferfer came at 6 pm. And I was really happy to see her at the time. I needed to see an old best friend who you know that you could run to them whenever you want and always find them there for you. We talked a lot and catch up what missing and it was so much fun and relieving for me

So by the night I became calm and relaxed enough to make some decisions I had to made.. so I ended some hanged issues and I took a short break from some.. which I think it might be a very long break actually.. and time will heal my wounds for sure.

Teasing msg from lolla :S

another teasing msg from medO :S if i had a dollar everytime some one ask me that question

i need a week off

Listening to:  Tamer 3ashor_maba2ash

Mood: confused

 

I’ve been thinking a lot these days about my live, and how it turned to be a big mess.. sometimes I feel that its so hard for me to keep my life arrange in a certain way just because a lot of things happening so fast, one after other.. good, bad, weird and unexpected things.. what a chaos..! and I can’t catch or deal with them all at once.. they all mixed together to become this big mass of burden in my heart. And it makes me feel blue and it’s really a wrong time because I’m already burdening by exams. And its not easy for me to deal with this now. But I tried to start arranging my priorities to know what issues should I deal with, and what should I omit..

My priorities should be in this order:  

1.       Family.

2.       Education.

3.       Love issues.

4.       Friends.

5.       Financial.

6.       Other relationships.

And I keep this list as it is whenever I’m ok.

 

But  lot of times it turns this way:

1.       Love

2.       Love

3.       Love

4.       Love

5.       Love

6.       Love!!!!

And at this stage either I’m in my happiest days of my life or my worse..

 

Right now its like that:

1.       Education.

2.       Family.

3.       Friends

4.       Financial

5.       Other relationships

6.       Love.

 

What I realized when I looked at the list, that I didn’t put “myself” at any level on it…! And that’s what I think the cause of my problems now… I feel that I’m exhausted, out of energy.

I don’t wanna move,  I don’t wanna think , I don’t wanna do anything right now. I can use a long vocation away from everything and everyone.. but as I said… things always happen to me  in the wrong time.

 

Killing Emotions

Music : ×

mood: sad & sorry  

 

Missing you is driving me crazy! As u said before I’m starting to create problems between us for a very lame reasons and that because I miss you so much.. why I’m doing that? Is it normal or it is just me! But to be fair to myself, when I’m doing it I found it  very reasonable for me at the time… but when I think about it later I realize that it was nothing and I shouldn’t act the way I did and start a problem. I know it’s so hard for you to stand me sometimes because of my hysterical  & immature reactions. But you have to know that I’m trying my best to avoid anything can cause a problem  between us. But with our situation, I’m here and you’re there… it makes it too hard for me to be tough  and have a self-control. I don’t wanna say that I’m sick of missing you all the time, it’s not like that.. but I’m tired and exhausted of being away from you and I know you feel the same too. Its so hard… so much that it cause us problems and tears everyday. But thanks god that we understand each other very well otherwise we wouldn’t be together now!  I wish u back soon.